Monday, May 20, 2013

Day 20: Life's struggles

I recently talked about overcoming obstacles in my life. You could say that an addiction would also fall under the category of something I'm struggling with right now, but when one says "right now", it sounds like something more temporary. I have a feeling my addiction to sugar is something I'll be struggling with for some time to come.

Right now, something I'm struggling with, and plan not to be in the immediate future, is money. It's not even that I don't have enough, it's that I have just enough to get by, which doesn't feel like a very satisfying or successful way to live. Managing money is a tough lesson in life to learn, but an extremely valuable one. I've grown up experiencing both sides of life: with an abundance of money, and without. I wouldn't think twice about telling you which I prefer.

The part I struggle with is reminding myself that this situation in life is temporary, to remain positive will only pull me out of it quicker, to remain patient. Patience is not one of my virtues (my lack of patience is not one of my worst traits either, but we'll get to that on Friday :), especially not when I really want something. And what I want is to be able to have the flexibility and freedom to travel and see things I haven't seen before. On top of that, that feeling of not having more than enough puts me in a constant state of worry.

I do feel like people have relationships with money - whether they be positive or negative - just like with food. When you start to realize that you're constantly thinking "I don't have enough money" (especially when you start using it as a crutch, or an excuse to say no to something), that's when you know your relationship with money probably isn't a very healthy or positive one. This is where I am, and have been for quite some time. I use my lack of money as an excuse to not do the things I want to do and I'm tired of it.

From now on, I would like to think things like, "I'm grateful for the income I have. It's so much more than some." and "I am going to plan this trip and I am going to have the funds by this time to do it."

Doesn't that sound so much more empowering than starting any sentence with "I don't have..." or "I can't..."?

The other positive part for me is having a plan. Right now, I'm focusing on paying off debt so that when I am making more money - and I will, I'll be able to save it. It's all I've got right now, but one of my new mottos lately has been "just one thing at a time."

1 comment:

Sarah Grace said...

I'm in that boat too! I took a class on finances because I ended up in a big financial mess. It helped me focus on how to save and how to pay my debts off. It's a process but it will get better eventually.

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