Life is Now

Life is now, not tomorrow or the next day.

Do you know how difficult this concept is for me to grasp? It's like trying to hold water in my hands. (I suppose a smart person who does live in the present would say, "That's crazy. It's not a concept. It just is," like you either did the homework or you didn't.)

I don't know why but I've never (other than when I was small and didn't know any better) lived in the moment, always the past or the future, constantly worrying, wondering, dreaming.

I suppose my mulling this over in my head is close to living in the moment. It's a self-actualization moment. Or something.

Really, I was trying to fall asleep and these thoughts popped into my head, and some rang true and poetic so I had to turn the bedside lamp back on and drag out my pen and paper from the nightstand (because what self-respecting writer doesn't always have pen and paper on hand? or a smart phone; that works too.), and scribble it all down.

I don't know why writing my novel can't be as simple as spilling all my thoughts out on paper.

Well, I do know: I think too much. Dreaming can be a good thing; one must always have goals and plans and things to look forward to, but, as JK Rowling (via Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone) says, "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live." (you know, that might actually be from the movie, but whatever.)

When did I forget to live?

It must have been some time in elementary when I realized people harbored opinions of me, and I decided to fear those opinions, like walking through a minefield. That dreaded mis-step and poof!

It's absurd, I know. But the first step to recovery is acceptance, when you've past that stage of crippling denial and you want to change your circumstances.

So why am I laying here, my eyes burning, my hand already tired of writing out my random stream of thought? Perhaps I'm hoping I'll talk/think/write my way into an epiphany and everything, all this muck I've been stuck in, will become clear, everything will make sense.

And maybe I'm hoping that when I share these random thoughts on this little, insignificant blip of a blog, somewhere someone will read them someday and say, "Yes!" *lightbulb*

There I go again, grasping for the unknown future.

Oh, lord help the idealist who cannot save herself, for she knows there is no knight in shining armor coming to save her.




P.S. I'm still working on my design boards, in case anyone was wondering. I'm having a difficult time deciding what room to do next (and a difficult time with time), but it will most likely be the kitchen, dining room, or powder bathroom.

The Cuckoo's Calling

For any of you who have not heard already, JK Rowling has pulled a quick one on us. Back in April, a novel called The Cuckoo's Calling was published by Robert Galbraith, who was revealed over the weekend by The Telegraph to be a pseudonym for JK Rowling. People are calling the secret "the best act of literary deception since Stephen King was outed as Richard Bachman back in the 1980s." Given Rowling's fan base (I'm one of them), it's not surprising to me that she would want some anonimity.

As she puts it: “I had hoped to keep this secret a little longer because being Robert Galbraith has been such a liberating experience. It has been wonderful to publish without hype or expectation and pure pleasure to get feedback under a different name.” I don't blame her in the least bit, though I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little upset when I found out last night. It's been out since April and I haven't read it yet!

The story is about a British veteran, Cormoran Strike, who is barely scraping by as a P.I.Then his friend asks him to investigate the suspected suicide of his sister, the legendary supermodel Lula Landry, aka the Cuckoo to her friends. I think it sounds like an interesting take on the world of the super rich, as well as detectives. I can't wait to read it!

Pottermore

 

www.pottermore.com

I posted last week about JK Rowling launching a new site and posting a countdown on youtube to her announcement that was today. This new site is called Pottermore and will officially be launching in October. You'll be able to read the books interactively as though you are a part of the story, with a magical name and the opportunity to be sorted into one of the four Hogwarts houses! Once you've been sorted you get access to all kinds of additional information and background on the world of Harry Potter that wasn't included in the books! This is such a genius idea and I can't wait to experience it! Watch JK Rowling's video on the site for more information.

More Harry?!

(image via mugglenet.com)

Yesterday my brother led me to a website that JK Rowling recently set up, www.pottermore.com, where you click on either owl and it leads you here:

http://www.youtube.com/JKRowlingAnnounces

I thought this was a rather genius way to tell the world you'll be making an announcement, although I have no idea where or how the announcement will be made. So I suppose I'll just be waiting with baited breath along with the rest of the world. Whatever it is, I can't wait!

In addition to this and my novel I've been working on, there hasn't been much going on in my world, hence the lame blogging (also, I must add, my computer is a constant hindrance to my getting anything accomplished in a timely manner on the internet, so I try to just stay off of it).

I did get to see one of my best friends from high school (and didn't take any pictures because I am retarded), whom I had not seen since her wedding nearly 4 years ago, on Tuesday. Along with her husband, we went antiquing on Main St. in Ventura and then went to eat at BJ's, which they were both excited for as their town of Aroura, IL does not have a BJ's. It was a very good day and I haven't had so much fun reminiscing in quite a long time.

I have been baking a lot of cupcakes lately, wishing I could send them to all my friends spread out all over this state and many others as they are reeking havoc on my weight (but they're just so yummy!). Have a lovely weekend everyone!

And Happy Father's Day to all the amazing fathers out there!