Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Boring

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I’ve been feeling introspective lately. I think I used to feel that way all the time and now I don’t even keep a journal. I tried to do those 5-year journals to keep a record of my life, but I always get bored because nothing ever happens.

Someone that I thought was my friend recently called me boring and I had to fight back the irrational desire to burst into tears. I know it shouldn’t have hurt me. I have a feeling boring was not the adjective this person was searching for (I am not a tiresome, uninteresting person, thank you very much), but it’s still one of the meanest things anyone has said to me in a long time.  I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it either. Is my life boring? Am I boring? I know the use of the word boring automatically indicates opinion. There isn’t anything clinical or exact about referring to something or someone as boring. It is completely subjective. But I’m letting it get to me; one stupid word spoken by someone too selfish and emotionally immature to think before they speak. In this particular situation, the real issue came down to the question of how does one explain to an extrovert what it’s like to be an introvert?

For the first four months of this year I threw myself into finishing my novel. It’s the first part to a trilogy that I have been re-writing and re-writing for the past five years. I still have a ton of editing to do, but I feel that it is really done this time. And I feel remarkably empty inside like a piece of me has died. Everyone kept asking me this past week what I was going to do to celebrate and I honestly don’t have it in me to do such a thing. How do I “go out” and “do something fun” when I’ve become so accustomed to shutting myself off from the world all these years to write?

Perhaps I am boring.

Or, at least, my life has become so.

The truth is I get depressed when I don’t write. But I get depressed when I’ve been cut off from people for too long. And then I get overly touchy and moody when I’ve been around too many people for too long. This is the hardest part of being introverted. I know life is all about balance, and finding that balance is everyone’s greatest and most important journey. If we can’t find that balance then we’re never really living, we’re just treading water, hoping to stay afloat long enough for the tide to carry us to shore.

If this is how we are living, just barely surviving, waiting for life to come along and save us, I don’t think we’re going to be very happy with what is waiting on that shore.

I’m going off on a weird tangent, but basically this is how I’ve been living.

It’s getting old.

I’m ready for change.

Change that I make instead of letting life happen to me. We are all creators. We create our own happiness, or sadness, or anger, or worry. I want to start creating my own happy ending instead of waiting for it to magically stumble into my path. I suppose I could start with incorporating activities into my life that I find fun, not that someone else finds fun. I suppose I've lost sight of what I actually like to do besides sit at home on my weekends and write. I know it's going to take me a while, but it's a good place to start.

Monday, May 4, 2015

Star Wars Day

Happy Star Wars Day everyone! In honor of this most momentous day, check out this amazing digital art my brother has been working on for the occasion.


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Basically, he's painting over the image on the computer, and the incredible process takes days, but the end results are worth it. He produces such high-quality images that they can be printed on canvas up to 48" high x 108" wide. I recommend looking at the pieces up close here where you can zoom in to see the brush strokes. It's pretty cool! He also has a few other pieces available for purchase in addition to the two above including one of Darth Vader!  Enjoy!

And May the 4th be with you!

Thursday, March 19, 2015

Dream House: Staircases

I have an obsession with spiral staircases, as you might be able to tell from the photos below. I've always wanted one of those table top collectable miniatures. Gorgeous. As far as having a spiral staircase in my house, I think one would work nicely in a library, or perhaps even outdoors if you had a 1st to 2nd story patio...


When it comes to staircases in general, I'm attracted to anything different, anything that is not the typical carpeted straight span of stairs that was only built to get one from the first floor of an establishment to the 2nd floor. If I have stairs in my future house, needless to say, it will be a creative addition to the house.


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Jean-Louis Deniot


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Pinterest





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Kelly Wearstler


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Simply Sun Signs

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

St Patty's Day music

Here's a little Irish in the morning for you. Have a great St. Patrick's Day!




And if you're a bit more traditional:


Thursday, January 22, 2015

Dream House: Fireplaces

Last year I started posting collections of inspiration pictures for the house of my dreams, room by room. Now I'm focusing on more of the details of the house whether they be architectural details, accessories, or color schemes. This month I'm starting on one of my favorite architectural details: fireplaces. There's just something about having a fireplace in your home or apartment that makes the place feel more like home. Perhaps this has something to do with the fact that I grew up on the beach in consistently cooler weather, but I find them comforting, and it is fascinating how a well proportioned and decorated fireplace mantel can pull a whole room together.


So, without further ado, here are some of my favorites.


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Monday, January 5, 2015

2015 Goals

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Happy 2015 everyone! I really do feel good about this coming year. These last two years I've felt have been really tough for everyone, and I think the universe has been preparing us all for some amazing things to come!

For the past few years I've been listing memories for the past year and new goals for the new year. So this year it's 14 memories from 2014, and 15 goals for 2015.

14 Memories from 2014:
1. I turned 30.
2. I went to Vegas (for the first time as an adult) to celebrate my birthday.
3. 2014 Winter Olympics.
4. Lost a great member of the office where I work.
5. Gained a new, and very dear friend at work.
6. Got Invisalign.
7. Got veneers on my teeth! (Look for before and after photo post on this soon)
8. Went to a design fair in Santa Monica.
9. Became the party/birthday planner at work.
10. Went to Disneyland for Halloweentime (first time for me. It was awesome!)
11. Bought a sketch from the sketch artists at Disneyland. I've always wanted one.
12. Won 1st place for our office Halloween costume contest.
13. Started writing half an hour a day at work.
14. Changed my hairstyle and color. I love being a redhead!

15 Goals for 2015:
1. Finish my novel by April 30th.
2. Get a laptop.
3. Start learning French on new laptop.
4. Get a raise for my new position at work.
5. Pay off my two credit cards.
6. Continue dream house posts on my blog.
7. Send out novel to agents before my birthday in July.
8. Get a new loan to pay off more debt and lower payments every month.
9. Do a hand stand in yoga.
10. Furnish my room with new pieces, and make my room more livable.
11. Continue to keep my room organized. (It was a mess that I had to clean up over break.)
12. Clean up my bike (that is just sitting on the balcony) and get a cover for it.
13. Follow the 7-week program in Calling in the One and meet my husband.
14. Write a YA retelling of Mansfield Park for NaNoWriMo.
15. Visit the beach and Santa Monica at least once a month.

And my overall goal or mantra for the year is to write every day. I don't care if it's just a sentence. I want to write something, even if it's not on one of my stories, and just my journal.

I also found this on pinterest for some great ideas for goals for the new year:




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